Alex, the school's star football player, laments their inability to fail a test as a result of the school changing their grades to keep them on the team. Though football is traditionally a male sport, the character may be played by an actor of any gender.
(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)
ALEX
These other kids don't know how good they have it, do they? Look at them, stressing out, getting yelled at... Do they know what I would give to take a test like they do?! Do they know what I would give to get yelled at like they do?! Instead, I sit here, not taking a test, not getting yelled at, just sitting. Like a loser.
(Alex sighs and leans back in his chair. He stops bothering marking answers.)
It's all stupid. This test, I mean. They say it's your future, but they must think I'm stupid if they're using a line like that on me. My future was decided long before I ever heard about this test. My future was decided the day I picked up a football.
(Alex signals to his letterman's jacket.)
As you can see, I'm not bad. I'm the best quarterback this school has ever seen—I break state records in my sleep. I'm not trying to brag, but sports have always been easy for me.
(Alex slowly deflates as he returns to staring at the test)
I'm not sure if school is easy for me. I know that's a boring answer, but I don't know. When I started getting good at football—like, really good—I noticed my grades got better. Like, before I had low Bs and Cs, but all of a sudden I was acing every class! And at first I thought I was getting smarter, but I started to realize that the work they gave me back wasn't—it wasn't my work. Our school is big on football, but we still have rules. I'm not supposed to be on the team if I'm doing poorly academically. So I guess, to make sure that didn't happen, they started giving me As, no matter what. And it sucks! It's so mor...moron...moroni...stupid! I used to know that word.
(Alex pauses and stares at the test for a few more seconds before giving up and staring at the ceiling.)
I wonder if they've ever considered that I might have dreams beyond high school football. For a while, I wanted to go into project management. I wanted to work at an up-and-coming tech company, like my dad. Not like they care, though. They don't have to deal with me in college. As far as they're concerned, I'm essentially dead as soon as I graduate. Then I'm just another name they can add to their "Athletics Hall of Fame." If I end up a famous athlete, all the better. If I don't, it's no skin off their backs.
(Alex sits back up, staring straight ahead.)
Okay, I know I must sound entitled, complaining about good grades... Let me explain. Last year, I got fed up with all of this and I decided I was going to get a good grade on my own terms. So, I studied. Hard. Like way harder than I've ever studied before. And it felt good! For once, when the teacher passed out the test, I felt like I knew what I was doing. When I finished that day, I was sure I aced it. When the teacher gave it back and I saw I got a hundred, I was ecstatic!
(Alex pauses and slowly returns to staring at his paper.)
But then I thought about it...and I realized that I don't know if I did well or not. Even if I had failed that test, it would have been corrected to a hundred anyway. All that work didn't mean anything... Before, at least I knew I was average. Now I don't have any way of knowing how smart I am...and somehow, that feels worse.
(Alex sits silently before dropping his pencil on the ground.)
They don't know how good they have it.