Laura, high school junior, has been sitting on a park bench kissing Randy, not her boyfriend.
(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)
I knew what I was getting into. I went into this with my eyes open. He’s dating my best friend. I don’t even know how it happened. It just did. How it happened doesn’t really matter does it? It’s not like if I say, “Oh, on the day I was orphaned in a tragic car accident, Randy stood by me and our love blossomed from there” it’s not like A. you’ll buy it, or B. it was true. It’s not. My parents are both still alive, unfortunately. He was hot. Something clicked. It wasn’t on purpose. Pretty much I don’t even think about it. It doesn’t help, it doesn’t change anything. I just try to live in the moment, enjoy the little time we have like this, and pray that it doesn’t destroy us all in the end. But it probably will. It’s hard, you know? When we’re all out together, I just completely detach myself emotionally. Somehow I can manage that. But when I’m alone, and he’s not there? I eat myself alive. I imagine terrible things. It makes my stomach hurt. I imagine he makes her laugh more than he makes me laugh. How he kisses her. How it’s different from how he kisses me. Better. And I hate them. I hate myself.