from The Exceptional Childhood Center by Dylan Schifrin

Genre: Comedy

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Reggie believes his future is riding an a successful first day at preschool.


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If there's anything that life has taught me so far, it's that your future is determined at birth. Or actually, in my case, determined before birth, since my parents put me on the waiting list for the Exceptional Childhood Center before I was even conceived. Then, one day, after my parents' amicable divorce and healthy co-parenting arrangement, a miracle happened: an opening appeared and my name took a magnificent journey from the top of the waiting list to the bottom of the accepted list. Here I am now: entering the third most prestigious preschool in the nation midyear. My hair is combed, my lunch is packed, and if I can just make it through today, I'll be—

(Comforted by the words:)

—set for life. I have one day to prove that I'm exceptional. No mistakes, no tantrums, no...accidents. It all starts here.