Ryan, a teen, has just gone on a first date with his dream girl, and recounts the disaster that followed.
(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)
RYANWe got into a car accident. I hit a truck. I thought she was fine at first. We just kinda hit it and both of us shot forward. And we pulled over and got out of the car and we were OK and fine and everything, but then she just started crying. And I think her hand really hurt. Sprained or something. It was—it was probably the airbag. I don't know. But I really thought it was all gonna be fine—the truck guy was actually a truck lady and she was really nice, and the car doesn't look that bad, it kinda looks like Picasso's version of a Honda Civic—but April. Her mom came and picked her up, and they said they were gonna go to a clinic to check out her hand. It was all very, very tranquil. Like everyone thought I was gonna lose it, so they were all acting really calm just for me.