Sandra has been helping her best friend choose an outfit for her date...with Jimmy, the guy Sandra yearns for.
(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)
Why would I be mad? Just ‘cause it’s a double date and my guy isn’t going to be there ‘cause I made him up, so it’s just me and you and your date...Jimmy. Perfect, perfect Jimmy. And his dimples.
I mean—it’s Jimmy. He doesn’t want to go out with me, he wants to go out with you. And he doesn’t like me, even though—you know. I’ve been completely and utterly in love with him since second grade...and I left all those little presents on his desk, and hung around by his locker every day, and I put a tent in his backyard and slept there with that big Valentine’s day sign I made.
I was there a week. He was at his uncle’s.
Then when the sign didn’t work, I thought—you know. Bigger. Maybe he just couldn’t read my writing, so I spent everything I had on a huge billboard that said—Jimmy, I love you, ask me to the spring formal...but I spent all my money on the billboard so I couldn’t afford a ticket... I just watched through the window. It was raining. I stood there, in the rain, and watched you and Jimmy dancing. Together. You were staring into his eyes the whole time. Those beautiful, sparkling eyes—full of mystery, full of promise. Eyes you could lose yourself in.
Then I got bit by a raccoon.