Monologue: T-Rex from Tough Girls Don't Pull Hair

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T-Rex, a tough girl, tries to persuade her younger sister that defending herself against a bully with violence solves everything.

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T-REX

[…] indicates lines for the other character in the original text.

You think that skinny Miss McGregory’s gonna make everything kosher at McKinley High? She can’t do a damn thing. No one can. When I was in your grade, I got my butt kicked like every week for just being…different. Because I was in “special classes.” […] I didn’t like myself! But one day, a field day at the Museum, right in fronna the Tibetan artifacts, I had enough. I gave Susan Albright a—

(Smacks her fist in her hand.)

[…] Tasty like a Hobby’s pastrami sandwich! Mm!

(Laughs diabolically, remembering the moment in the museum.)

[…] The security guy dragged me away, but I had a smile ear-to-ear for the rest of the year. Listen up. The only way it’s gonna get better for you is if you take action. […] I’m your older sister who’s got nothin’ but love for you! […] I want to teach you how live in this world with more respect for yourself. […] Get up! Or I will seriously hurt you! I mean it! […] Tough girls don’t pull hair. Tough girls fight like guys. […] Like in the UFC, yeah. Ready?!