Frankie, teenage short-wave radio DJ, broadcasts from her bedroom. She has no idea whether her show has any listeners at all.
(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)
FRANKIE
This is Frankie telling you what's good and what's bad, so don't be sad, because I'm here to chase away those wee hour blues with my tell it like it is reviews. We'll be burning the way past midnight oil until this movie ends, and speaking of movies, the one everybody's talking about and you don't want to be left out... The Teenage Boy Played by a Twenty-Eight-Year-Old Actor Who Sulks and Wears Dark Earth-Toned Clothes Since the Death of His Mother Two Years Ago In a Drunk Driving Accident He Feels Responsible For and His Father's Absence Due to an All-Consuming Job Falls in Love with the Girl Everyone Thinks is Ugly But Has a Heart of Gold and Hidden Artistic Talents and They Develop an Unexplained Connection While They Fight Space Aliens Disguised as Terrorists and Seek the Treasure That Turns Out Not To Be What They Thought It Was But They Act Vulnerable as They Reveal Secrets and Save the World and the Ugly Girl Turns Out to be Hot Once They Give Her a Better Hairstyle and Color Coordinated Clothes and Remove the Makeup While They Come of Age and Learn a Valuable Lesson and Kiss as the Movie Ends Before Anything Else Can Go Wrong. Greatest movie ever.
(beat)
Not. But that song. Not that one. The other one. Music to my ears.
(beat)
Here on this show, we are not afraid to speak the truth—even if the phone lines light up with angry callers. Even if there are death threats.
(beat)
Even if nobody's listening at all.